Friday, January 21, 2011

Atención / Attention

Todo padre siempre enfrenta retos con sus hijos. Ser padres no es una tarea fácil pero sí conlleva mucha responsabilidad y sacrificios. Yo adoro mis niñas con todas mis fuerzas y por supuesto, tenemos nuestros momentos difíciles. Por ejemplo, en las pasadas semanas se me ha hecho difícil con una de ellas por que al parecer es como si no escuchara cuando uno le habla (no, ella no es sorda simplemente prefiere ignorarme). Yo le digo que haga algo y se lo puedo decir más de tres veces y ella no me hace caso y definitivamente, eso hace que mi nivel de paciencia no sea muy tolerante.

Necesito ideas para lidiar con esta situación, por que no quiero que se convierta en algo que ella siga haciendo. Por favor, sus ideas son necesarias y urgentes (sí, así es mi nivel de desesperación).

Annie

Every father always faces challenges with their children. Being parents is not an easy task and it involves a lot of responsibility and sacrifices. I adore my girls with all my heart and of course, we have our difficult moments. For example, the last few weeks has been a bit difficult with one of them because apparently is as if she would not listen when we talk to her (no she is not deaf, she simply prefers to ignore me). I tell her to do something and I have to repeat it more than three times and she does not pay attention to me and finally that put to the test my levels of patience and tolerance.

I need ideas to fight with this situation, because I do not want this to become something that she might continue doing. Please, your ideas are necessary and urgent (yes, this is my level of desperation).

Annie

8 comments:

*LLUVIA* said...

Yo no soy la mas indicada para darte un consejo para algo asi. Solo te puedo decir que mi madre ocurria a cosas drasticas. Ella fue madre soltera (divorciada) de 7 hijos, y siempre nos decia que ella no tenia tiempo para tratar de razonar con nosotros como suelen hacerlo los americanos; que nosotros sabiamos lo que estaba bien y lo que estaba mal. Y si haciamos algo mal, simplemente nos iba a pegar.

Bueno, paso a mi punto, mi madre tenia el mismo problem con mi hermana menor. Ella no hacia caso. Le decias que levantara sus juguetes, pero ella simplemente nos ignoraba como si no escuchara. Asi mama le dijo, que todo mundo la iba ignorar. Y asi hicimos. Esto la hizo enojar mucho. Pues cuando nos hablaba, deciamos...escuchas algo? Oigo voces, pero no entiendo...es que tengo mi foquito de ignorar prendido...eso hizo que ella dejara de ignorarnos.

Otra cosa que mama hizo, fue cuando mi hermano se tiraba al pizo para hacer berrinches. Mama y todos tambien nos tiramos al pizo con el. Se enojo mucho. Y jamas se volvio a tirar al pizo. El tiene 31 anos y siempre se acuerda de ese dia!

No se que decirte ni como ayudarte...solo te deseo suerte. Mama siempre recurrio a las nalgadas, pero bueno, ella asi es.

Jeremi said...

we use 123magic -- it's a very simple behavior plan to STOP behaviors you don't want to see happening and START behaviors you do want to see.

the book is short and easy to read and follow (i don't like plans that get too fancy) and it really works great. i even use it with the little girls i take care of and when i taught.

good luck annie, i know how hard dealing with behavior stuff can be, so tiring and frustrating.

The Smiths said...

Here is what we do...
1. use a look
2. offer a warning
3. use a tone

And if those 3 don't work (it's kinda like 3 warnings..the look is used only for discipline nothing else..and the tone is the same..It's a tone that the kids know they better straighten up)
Then the child "chooses" to bring in a 3rd person (Mr. Sad..the wooden spoon). most times, it works for us..but the kids have their days.

I find with Dakota that taking away a privilege that usually gets the message across FAST!
The key is consistency
..whatever you decide stick with it. You can't waver on it or the kids will try to push you as far as you let them go the last time and then it just gets all out of hand.

Good luck, Annie.

Missy said...

Hang in there. Abby does her fair share ignoring mom. I definitely make her listen to me by getting down to eye-level and then to make sure she hears me, she has to answer Yes ma'am after I ask her "Do you understand?"

Mighty M said...

So frustrating - this happens to us too. Partly the age they are at. But kids tend to not listen because they know you don't mean it and will just keep asking them. So my advice is to stop asking them over and over. Kids need a few minutes to comply so give them that, but do not ask them more than 3 times. If it goes beyond you need to take action (if you are asking them to pick up toys, YOU pick them up but then they go away until you want to give them back). If they won't put on their shoes you leave without their shoes on..they probably won't do it more than once. Yeah, they won't like it but once they learn that you both mean what you say it will get easier to get them to listen and comply. Good luck!

Malena said...

Ha! I get that times 3!!!! I think it's the age for sure!

I have learnt that kneeling down and get on their level and making sure they're looking at ME BEFORE I start talking really helps. There is NO WAY they can ignore me then. But, it's not always possible to do that so...
I think all Moms feel like broken records at times.

Jill said...

I don't have any suggestions because my kids are a fair bit younger, but I hope you find something that works! I know we'll be there someday. Good luck!

girlytwins said...

Oooh Annie I am right there with you. We have been having the same difficulties with our girls, one more than the other. I wish I had some great advice. We have started to use harsher punishments to get their attention. We tried the 3 chances method but I felt that it just gave them 3 chances to be naughty. So now they get one time and on the second time they get a consequence. So far it is helping a bit but still an issue.